i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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