Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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