did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
