Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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