You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
