I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
