Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize