awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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