On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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