Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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