There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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