Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
