Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
