if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
