WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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