Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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