Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wear drunk well.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
