But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
