It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm too high and old for this...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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