i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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