if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
