whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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