so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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