i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
