I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
