a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
