our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
