would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
