so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
