every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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