i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
