I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
