She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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