He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize