Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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