Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
