Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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