So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it's like iHOP with fire
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
