If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
