Pants 0. Shit 1.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
