awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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