you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize