So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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