oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
