Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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