Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
