yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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