Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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