Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
