Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
