shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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