I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
