If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
