Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
