Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
