I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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