Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
