Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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