Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
