Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
