is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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