when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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