I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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