I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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