I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
