Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
