and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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