The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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