They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
