I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
